Office Oculu headset

With the recent acquisition of virtual reality headset maker Oculus VR by Facebook last week, Microsoft has accelerated the release of their VR offering, targeting the lucrative enterprise market.

Hardware and Reaction

Dubbed Microsoft Office© Oculu 2014 Enterprise Edition™, the Oculu boasts hardware specifications comparable to the Oculus Rift DK2 and Sony’s Project Morpheus, only more bland somehow.

Originally aimed at the gaming market, Microsoft has re-imagined the virtual reality headset for the enterprise consumer who is more concerned about productivity than fun. “Imagine seeing pivot tables that actually pivot in 3D,” said Wayne Jarvis, a revenue accountant at a major reinsurance company. “Being able to use OutlookVR™ to send weekly status reports in a fully immersive environment is a total game-changer.”

“Everyone has sat through a boring Powerpoint where the speaker just reads bullets off the slides. But now… imagine having that same experience but with full positional head tracking and binaural audio,” stated Lacey Cooper, a marketing associate with Bank of America.

Microsoft concurred. “We’re excited to be entering the VR space. The industry events and parties are much more fun than when we were launching SQL Server 2012. Did I mention I just met John Carmack?”, said Michelle Lefler, Oculu Product Director. “And have you ever Binged™ in an immersive environment?”

Road to VR rendition of Microsoft Excel using Microsoft Office© Oculu 2014 Enterprise Edition™
Microsoft Excel using Microsoft Office© Oculu 2014 Enterprise Edition™

With regards to licensing, Microsoft system engineers are excited about the news. According to sysadmin Brian Hart, a former Microsoft Certified Solutions Expert™, “[o]ne of the things Microsoft brings to the table is innovative and easy-to-understand product licensing. Not only is it dead simple to understand various Microsoft product editions, it couldn’t be easier to determine exactly which licenses are needed in order to be compliant. Licenses can be purchased from a variety of resellers, who all completely have their shit together, and distributed with a minimum of hassle.”

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Microsoft will license the Oculu using a la carte pricing that allows enterprise customers to only pay for the features they need on a recurring, month-to-month basis.

Feature matrix


Pricing for the headset itself will start at $499 for a Home edition in brown and $599 for a Premium edition, also in brown, but a slightly different shade and includes the word ‘Premium’ in the title, and $699 for the Ultimate edition which upgrades the color to white and is clearly the best version you can get because ‘Ultimate’ is in the title. Shipment is slated for Q2 2015, and the 1.1GB driver package will be available directly from Microsoft’s download site somewhere.

There may also be a possibility of integrating with the Xbox One at some point, which most people would say is clearly a much better fit, but officials would not comment.

3D model developed in partnership with Spike Meesters.

This article contains forward-looking statements, which are any predictions, projections or other statements about future events based on current expectations and assumptions that are subject to risks and uncertainties, which should really go without saying, but here we are. Web browsing experience in Oculu is optimized exclusively for Internet Explorer 8, with other versions planned for support in Microsoft Office Oculu 2014 Enterprise Edition SP1. Attempting to use non-approved software will cause irreparable damage to the cornea. Retweets are not endorsements. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Use only in well-ventilated area. Do not expose directly to light. Pregnant women, the elderly, and children should avoid prolonged exposure to this product. Manufactured in a facility that also processes peanuts. Do not use if safety seal is broken. Under no circumstances should you attempt to access /r/oculus using this device. Other restrictions may apply.
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  • elecman

    Nice try. You don’t fool us ;-)

  • tmikaeld

    Pure.. Comedy… Gold!!

  • True Player Gear

    I love it, great article! ;-)

  • Chris Given

    This is funny because its somewhat believable that Microsoft would do something like this… Haha Microsoft… Completely out of touch with reality!!

  • eyeandeye

    When the big FB purchase news hit last week I immediately thought “It’s too early for April Fools”, and yet on the actual day of April Fools, I fall for this headline. *shakes head*

  • DarkAkuma

    Lol. Good one! =)